Hooboy. I think I am in over my head. But come to think of it, that is true with or without a vintage trailer.

So, my new BFFs on the Airstream Forum are like, amazing. These are people who rebuild trailers from the dust of their aluminum skeletons. They resurrect the soul in hulking carcasses that have been Going Back to the Earth for decades. They are brave in the face of rusting chassis, rotten wood and nasty black mold. They use terms like “belly pan” and “steel core #17 tracks” fearlessly and seem to know what the hell they are talking about. And some of them do it places where there is snow on the ground. Gulp.  

So, let me level with you: My tool box consists of a high heel shoe (they really do make excellent hammers), museum nails, duct tape, and thumbtacks. I am the Girliest of Girls. I run/ hit/ scream like a Girl. I am uncoordinated, un mechanical, and lack confidence in my ability to stay awake when reading DIY manuals. Now, lest you fear I have horrible self-esteem, I am also a lot of pretty cool things, but unrealistic is not one of them. I face the truth. I’m pretty much a weenie when it comes to fixin’ anything non-food related.

I’m a little stunned in the wake of my Big Reveal here.

I mean, even I should be talking myself out of this trailer insanity.

Too bad. Things I AM include strong, a visionary, and a person who Makes Things Happen.

But while we are having this chat, I should also take this moment to further clarify my stand on the “camping” thing. I like soft, warm beds. Bugs freak me out. I do NOT think it tastes better if you cook it over a camp stove. I do not like peeing outside, especially at night, you freaks. In short, I never, despite crossing the country in a trailer many times as a child, ever once thought of it as camping. That is why I have a trailer, ya’ll. Bed, kitchen, potty inside.

That is Mrs. Byam to you, you intimidating camper types out there, judging me. In fact, if you were not all so damn nice I would walk. But… since I am about as helpless as a baby kitten, I guess I better suck up and get over myself, huh? This is the part of the After School Special where I need to learn to accept help and camaraderie without fearing other’s judgment.

Sniff. Besides, I am a VERY good cook, loyal friend, and occasionally funny, so I will just have to find other ways to be a valuable member of the Trailer Geek Squad, umm, I mean, Community.


Mary Virginia
1/18/2009 10:35:58 pm

Precious Alex,
With brains, guts and a sense of humour you can get on top of just about anything. But, just a little question here, how are you going to polish the thing? It is lots taller than you are. I always wondered about that!

Love you,
Your loving Aunt

1/23/2009 04:08:00 pm

Um yeah have you noticed that you have a gross surplus of friends who have seven different kinds of hammers (because they really are different jobs for each), whach 'em like Lumberjacks-who-are-okay and can do The Bug Stop like any good person who's dealt with a Florida Palmetto bug. (True, I may still scream while doing it but that information is only available in the fine print.) You start it out, we'll all bring it in.


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